Spirituality is a wonderful way to experience bliss. It paves the path that makes you go beyond the turbulence to a lake of calm stillness. But unfortunately, sometimes, we encounter hidden spiritual narcissists on our journey.
They may be fellow seekers, mentors, or random people you meet on your spiritual journey. Sometimes, they are aware of their manipulative behaviors, while many people may not even recognize it (until it is too late). Why? Because ego is so subtle that it can skillfully hide behind beautiful, complex spiritual words.
Here are the signs that can show you’re dealing with a spiritual narcissist.
What Is a Spiritual Narcissist?
At its core, spiritual narcissism is a psychological pattern where individuals exploit spiritual practices and beliefs to reinforce their inflated sense of self-importance. These ungodly gurus cherry-pick and twist religious texts, ecclesiastical titles, slogans, and other signifiers of their particular brand of faith to justify their behaviors. Even though they may mouth the appropriate words needed to sound sincere, they do not live out those principles.
Their practices are not paths toward actual enlightenment but badges of honor they display like pastoral peacocks. All their social media feeds are chock full of pictures and videos documenting their perfect practices, not to mention audio and text filled with spiritual-ese: Anointed, Awakened, Blessed, Energetic Healer, Gaia Goddess, Higher Consciousness, Inner Enlightenment, Karuṇā Care, Lightworker, Manifest, Reiki-inspired Religion, Saved, Washed in the Blood of the Lamb, or any other pat phrase designating them as more spiritually evolved than us mere mortals.
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Common Signs of a Spiritual Narcissist
- They use guilt and fear to control others. Religious communities can be places of healing-or playgrounds for manipulation.
- Always emerges as the victorious warrior during theological smackdowns.
- Their missional motto: “I said it. I believe it. That settles it.”
- In lieu of church bingo, they play the shame game.
- Their tattooed theology is in tatters.
- Favors Bible beatings over blessings.
- The church sign may say “Welcome” but their greeters are the Frozen Chosen.
- Always leaving on their private jet plane.
- Claims their book sales are doing better than the Bible.
- Feels up and then fleeces their flock.
- More ostentatious than Osteen.
While true transcendence centers on the sense of connection and similarity between self and others, a spiritual narcissist is driven by a need to be separate from and better than their fellow humans. Not only are they more evolved than others, with a super-special connection to the deity of their choosing, but they belittle those who do not follow their specific practices and beliefs.
Their charming persona and enticing promises convince their disciples they are members of a special tribe of chosen people through which blessings will flow to them. For one to be accepted as a member of a particular theological tribe run by a super-duper spiritual narcissist, one must buy into their message while also buying their products.
The Christian Industrial Complex and multinational mindful movements headed by shamanic superstars encourage this dynamic as they benefit from the money and publicity generated by self-appointed spiritual masters. These institutions have a sordid history of elevating select gurus to positions of power.
If a spiritual sleaze lands a publisher willing to fork over the requisite cash to buy their place of pride on bestseller lists, they have now entered the “too big to fail” category. Should a spiritual superstar’s dastardly deeds get exposed, their newfound celebrity status has now granted them admission into an inner circle filled with best-selling Christian and secular exploiters. This group of malevolent missionaries bands together by quoting and endorsing each other’s works, further cementing each of them as invaluable experts spouting a Teflon-like theology that supposedly can’t be touched.
Now factor in all the multilevel marketing (MLM) moves within the woo-woo wellness, mindless meditation, and sacred sexuality for sale that clogged up my social media feeds when I began researching this book. You get the gist. Let’s face it: spiritual narcissists pull moves that would make the Baby Jesus soil his diaper.
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Is There a Darker Side Behind Narcissistic Behavior?
Have you ever wondered if there’s more to a narcissist’s behavior than just personality flaws? What if the manipulation, emotional chaos, and control tactics aren’t just psychological but something much darker? In this article, we’re going to explore four signs that a narcissist may actually be under the influence of demonic forces and exhibiting signs of spiritual warfare.
Narcissists bring chaos wherever they go-yet somehow always make you feel like you’re to blame. And while you’re left picking up the pieces, they continue their pattern of self-centered destruction. But here’s the truth: treating narcissistic behavior without addressing the spiritual root is like trying to cut weeds without pulling out their roots-they always grow back stronger.
In many cases, the narcissistic behaviors you see on the surface are just symptoms, but there’s a hidden root system underground, where spiritual forces are at work. When you address only the visible signs, you’re left wondering why the toxic behavior keeps coming back.
Let’s go deeper and uncover four clear signs of spiritual warfare that may be influencing the narcissist’s behavior.
1. Manipulation and Deception
Imagine sitting across from the narcissist, trying to have a simple conversation. At first, everything seems calm, but soon, the story begins to twist. They subtly twist your words, make you question your own memory, and before you know it, you’re apologizing for something they did. It feels like stepping into a maze-just when you think you’ve found a way out, they move the walls again with gaslighting, denial, or victim-playing.
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This level of manipulation goes beyond basic dishonesty. It’s an elaborate smokescreen meant to keep you confused, disoriented, and trapped. Their manipulation serves to draw you away from reality, just as Satan seeks to deceive and divide.
Narcissists, too, are experts at manipulating truth, and this doesn’t come from mere personality; it may be a demonic strategy. Once a person gives in to constant manipulation, they may unknowingly open a door for spiritual influence. This is where deception takes root, leaving both the narcissist and those around them in a web of lies.
If you notice a pattern of gaslighting, twisting the truth, or rewriting history, there may be something darker at work behind the scenes.
2. Spiritual Blindness and a Hardened Heart
Have you ever looked into the eyes of a narcissist during an argument and felt like you were talking to a wall? You explain, you present the facts, but there’s no understanding-just a blank stare or even cold indifference. It’s as if they’re blocked from seeing the truth.
When a person opens the door to demonic influence, one of the first things to go is their ability to see the truth. Over time, the narcissist’s heart hardens, making real change feel impossible.
This blindness keeps the narcissist trapped in a cycle of sin and selfishness. If your narcissist shows signs of avoiding accountability, rejecting godly counsel, and rationalizing harmful behavior, it may be a sign of spiritual blindness and a hardened heart.
3. Division and Strife
Does it feel like conflict and chaos follow the narcissists wherever they go? Whether it’s family gatherings, friendships, or the workplace, they somehow manage to stir up drama. You try to keep the peace, but conflict always finds its way back, leaving everyone divided and on edge.
This isn’t just a personality flaw-it’s a tactic straight out of the enemy’s playbook. Narcissists thrive on division and strife, often using manipulation to keep others in conflict and themselves in control.
4. Unforgiveness and Resentment
One of the most damaging signs of spiritual warfare is the narcissist’s inability to forgive. They hold onto grudges, keeping a mental tally of every perceived offense. Even if you apologize, it’s never enough-they hold onto resentment like a treasured possession, waiting for the perfect moment to use it against you.
Narcissists often justify their anger and carry it like a badge of honor, which only opens the door for further spiritual influence. Holding onto bitterness isn’t just destructive for them; it poisons everyone around them, creating a ripple effect of hurt and chaos.
How to Respond if Spiritual Forces Are Involved
If you’re dealing with someone who shows these signs of spiritual warfare, here are some ways to respond:
- Pray for Discernment and Protection
- Pray for Deliverance and Healing
- Use the Authority of Christ
- Pray for Their Heart to Soften
- Fast and Pray
While you can’t change their heart, you can pray for their freedom and healing, even if it’s from a distance. Your prayers are powerful, and God is with you in this battle.
Fake spiritual healers and pastors are dangerous. Instead of being of service to others they are self-serving. The narcissistic healer, guru or pastor has a grandiose idea of who they are. They inflate the importance of their role and work. They are not in it to make a positive impact on the world and those around them. They love being seen as the one who holds all the sacred knowledge. The only one who is special enough to help you “heal” or “spiritually evolve.” Instead of sharing information, they withhold it. They like to keep the balance of power tipped in their favor.
Authentic healers and spiritual or religious leaders put their congregation or clients’ needs above their own. They know that their primary role is to serve - not to be served. This is not easy and it can be the hardest part of being in a leadership position. Spiritual Narcissists can’t do this. They do not have the empathy required to truly hold space for another human being.
An authentic spiritual or religious leader or healer, recognizes that they do not have special powers or status. They are simply the faucet through which divine wisdom flows. God is using them to do His work. The spiritual narcissist does not see themselves as a fellow human being, who has traversed the same challenges and limitations as you. Rather, the spiritual narcissist sees themselves as exalted.
Extreme examples of spiritual narcissism are seen in faith healers like John of God or cult leaders like Osho and David Koresh. People lost their lives in tragic and inhumane ways. Spiritual narcissists use coercive control to harm, punish and frighten their victims. It's all about power and control. Emotional and financial abuse is rife with so-called esoteric healers. These witchdoctors and spell castors work with the dark arts. They use coercive control to get you to buy their services. Spiritual narcissists feed off the pain and suffering of others. It makes them feel powerful and in control. It feeds their god-complex.
They use inflated language and big words to sound more intelligent than you. They constantly tell you “it’s your ego talking” when you want to give an opinion or share a goal. This is how they gaslight you and devalue you. Spiritual Narcissists need to be admired for how special, unique and successful they are. During a session they do not value your time - they take private calls or answer text messages. They do not actively listen to what you are saying. They get angry when you ask questions or confront them about an issue.
In the helping field, communal narcissism is a form of narcissism whereby the narcissist believes they are on a special mission. They think that they alone will save the world and everyone in it. They project themselves as the most helpful and valuable resource. I believe Spiritual Narcissists are also communal narcissists. They are just using religion, spirituality and the healing arts to get narcissistic supply.
Spiritual narcissists believe they are “special.” They are more prophetic, more “psychic”, more intuitive and more spiritual than you.
Be very wary of western “shamans” wearing beads, tribal gear, tattoos and a drum. Unfortunately, many spiritual teachers, plant medicine facilitators and spiritual healers are narcissists. The supply they get from the vulnerable men and women who swarm to them is intoxicating. They are taking advantage of people who are at their most vulnerable. People who are hurt and broken. People who don’t have strong boundaries and family ties. Please be very careful. People in positions of trust can be the most dangerous. Just like family members, we automatically assume they have our best interests at heart.
The spiritual community is the perfect hiding place for narcissists because they can prey on the vulnerable and not be questioned. Always trust your gut- if something feels off, it is. Be very careful of who you allow into your life. Just because they call themselves a ‘healer’ or ‘teacher’ or ‘shaman’ or “pastor”, does not mean they have your best intentions at heart. Always test the spirits behind the people you meet. Practice spiritual discernment.
Most importantly, don’t blame yourself for being fooled by a spiritual narcissist. Don’t be intimidated by someone who has knowledge in a field that you don’t. Spiritual narcissists love playing up on the mystery and mysticism of the spiritual world. This can cause you to unknowingly give your power away.
Never put anyone on a pedestal. They are flawed human beings just like you and me. They just happen to have knowledge and experience that may or may not be helpful to you. If you are talking to someone well-known or who has been highly recommended or has a long list of credentials or years of experience, great! But let your intuition be your guide. Check in with yourself and notice if you feel empowered or disempowered. Do you feel respected? Does this person respect you, your feelings and your thoughts? Or do they invalidate them and tell you what you should think or should feel?
A good spiritual or religious teacher will treat you with respect and see you as an equal. They know you have come to them for their expertise but they know that you have expertise in other areas that they don’t. Notice if they act like they are uniquely gifted and special. They may proclaim how special their gifts are. If they brag about being more evolved than you as they describe how they travel to other dimensions, see “things”, read auras, balance chakras, predict the future, talk to your ancestors, connect with angels, meditate for five hours a day, only eat fruit and drink water… RUN.
New age gurus and charismatic pastors are very appealing, especially if you’re looking for connection. The Holy Spirit convicted me and I was saved by grace. If you are still in the clutches of a spiritual narcissist, my prayer is that you will be saved too.
Here's a summary of the key differences between authentic and narcissistic spiritual leaders:
| Trait | Authentic Spiritual Leader | Spiritual Narcissist |
|---|---|---|
| Focus | Service to others | Self-service and admiration |
| Empathy | High empathy and compassion | Lacks empathy |
| Knowledge Sharing | Shares knowledge openly | Withholds information to maintain power |
| Self-Perception | Sees themselves as a conduit for divine wisdom | Sees themselves as exalted and superior |
| Motivation | Positive impact on the world | Seeks fame, wealth, and admiration |
| Respect | Treats others with respect and as equals | Invalidates others and demands admiration |