In astrology, synastry examines how two individuals' birth charts interact, providing insights into their relationship dynamics. One particularly intriguing aspect is Lilith conjunct South Node, which suggests a deep, often intense, connection rooted in past life experiences.
Before diving into the specifics, it's important to address the significance of Lilith. The most commonly known myth of Lilith is a Jewish myth. In recent years there has been much discussion about how Judaism is a closed practice (or a semi-closed practice) and many people have rightfully brought up that for this reason it’s not appropriate for people who are not Jewish to interact with Lilith. I want to note here that though I am ethnically part Jewish, I am not of the Jewish faith. I’m an astrologer and I look at Lilith through the symbolic language of astrology, incorporating many potential branches of the archetype we now call “Lilith”, a good portion of which I’ve learned from Brennan Kettelle. I don’t worship Lilith or work with her in a spiritual sense, and it’s best to listen to Jews on this subject! For several decades now, many people, and in particular women, have found Lilith to be a symbol of empowerment and of choosing oneself. In the Jewish myth, Adam and Lilith were made from the same material and because they were the equals, Lilith wanted to be on top during sex. Adam refused, and Lilith left the Garden of Eden to wander the earth in rage, fucking demons and birthing demon children. This is not the only Hebrew take on Lilith, just the most well-known. Additionally, the origin of ‘Lilith’ can be traced back to the Babylonian & Assyrian lilitu, and the Mesopotamian Lamashtu. Even the story of the Greek Lamia and Stryx bear similarities as well.
Lilith represents the wild, untamed, and primal aspects of our nature. She embodies rebellion, sexuality, and the darker, often hidden, parts of ourselves. In a woman, Lilith represents the sexual unknown and natural inhibitions of a woman. Lilith is not high and mighty, nor bright and positive. She is murky and sharp and feral. She reminds us that we are not just upstanding human beings but also human animals. There are parts of us that remain untamed, no matter how long we have kept them a cage. This part of us is feral, and can be vicious. She is an untamed force of destruction; in the case of Black Moon Lilith, she is (sort of literally) the dark side of the moon. Lilith is the part of our animal nature that is a courageous rebel at best and a murderous wave of rage at worst.
The South Node, on the other hand, signifies past experiences, ingrained patterns, and karmic connections. Going by both Vedic and Tibetan astrology, Ketu is the point of detachment, known for "draining" energy and transcending matter, leading to enlightenment, and Lilith is the primal instinct within us (that can, at times, be the driving force behind ignorance), therefore in contact with Lilith it "drains" Lilith of its uncontrollable nature, pacifying it, helping Lilith transcend or essentially get over the factor of separation which is so deeply ingrained in the psyche of Lilith.
Integrating Lilith means accepting the dirty, animalistic parts of ourselves and of life - the parts that are smeared with mud and piss; ugly faces made in pleasure and rage; deformed bodies; snakes eating their prey alive. We don’t always have a toilet to shit in, utensils to eat with, or beds to sleep in. Lilithian people will eat with their hands, shit in the forest, and build a cave to sleep in. Banished to the dark side of the moon, reveling in shadows and screaming at the fates with the screech owls, Lilith lives where things aren’t pretty, but they are real.
Read also: Lilith Conjunct Descendant
When Lilith conjuncts the South Node in synastry, it creates a potent blend of these energies. This conjunction often indicates:
- Past Life Connection: The Lilith conjunct South Node synastry aspect reveals a past life connection with Lilith themes. Generally, these two were either enemies in this past life or not allowed to be together.
- Familiarity: It is a sense that you and he feel very familiar with each other and with Lilith, it is intense cuz it is raw sexuality.
- Intense Attraction: When you have a strong Lilith aspect with your partner in the synastry chart, you experience a deep and magnetic attraction.
- Recurring Themes: Lilith conjunct South Node in synastry reveals a past life connection with the following possible themes: sexuality, taboo, controversy, experiences of psychological separation or isolation etc.
With Lilith square the nodes or Lilith conjunct the north node, we are recognizing or even owning those parts of ourselves anyway. The goal with Lilith conjunct South Node is not to fall but into old patterns but to transcend them. If the partners were enemies in a past life then that wound must be healed between them.
The South Node person encourages and helps the lilith person to explore their sexuality deeper and get past their inhibitions. Getting more comfortable with their sexuality. New positions, role play, dirty talk, doing it in public places, anything that the lilith person felt was wrong/improper/bad, the south node person helps them feel safe to try it out.
However, there are also potential challenges associated with this aspect. It’s very easy for both partners to fall back into old patterns with this aspect. Because of this, once the initial magnetic attraction has faded, the Lilith person can quickly become overwhelming for the Juno individual.
Embracing our inner Lilith comes with risk. The fears that we carry around our natal Lilith - that we will be cast out, hated, demonized, shamed if we let these parts of ourselves out - aren’t imaginary. They are things that may actually happen. In most cases, our Lilith ‘wound’ came from seeing someone we could identify with hated, cast out, shamed or outright abused as a result of embodying qualities associated with our Lilith placement.
Read also: Exploring Lilith and Chiron
In many ways, Lilith can represent the part of ourselves that the world has told us is Bad, directly or indirectly, through hatred, bullying, systemic oppression, and the like. Maybe that part of you really is Bad, or maybe we live in a world where some people are given an unearned stamp of approval while that approval is denied to others without good cause. Lilith is a part of us that deviates from the norm, and while leaning into our natal Lilith placement, we must be ready for the reality that the world may not love this part of us.
Ultimately, the Lilith conjunct South Node aspect in synastry presents both challenges and opportunities. By acknowledging the past, embracing authenticity, and working through karmic patterns, individuals can harness the transformative potential of this powerful connection. It is a journey of self-discovery, healing, and empowerment, paving the way for a more fulfilling and authentic relationship.
Here is a brief overview of Lilith aspects in synastry:
| Aspect | Description |
|---|---|
| Lilith conjunct Sun | Irresistible attraction, illusive vibe, transformative, potential for overemphasis on sex. |
| Lilith conjunct Moon | Triggers emotional wounds, issues with the mother figure, potential for emotional obsession. |
| Lilith conjunct Mercury | Shame about how the other partner thinks or communicates, a catch-22 in the relationship. |
| Lilith conjunct Venus | Intense physical attraction, imbalance in independence, taboo or secret elements in the relationship. |
| Lilith conjunct Mars | Relationship made up of two fighters, passionate sex life, potential for verbal abuse or violence. |
| Lilith conjunct Jupiter | Lilith is magnified, couple challenges each other's beliefs. |
| Lilith conjunct Saturn | Dark and difficult, deep sexual attraction, has quite a bit to do with karma. |
| Lilith conjunct Uranus | Lilith person unlocks a new side to the Uranus person, instant attraction. |
| Lilith conjunct Neptune | Illusion in a relationship, psychic connection, darkest desires. |
| Lilith conjunct Pluto | Extremely intense and karmic, strong attraction, both show their dark sides. |
| Lilith conjunct Ascendant | Strong, immediate attraction, often very public at first. |
| Lilith conjunct Descendant | Descendant partner is especially attracted to the dark side in the Lilith partner. |
| Lilith conjunct Midheaven | Deep obsession with having a certain image. |
| Lilith conjunct IC | Relationship brings out the dark side of the IC person. |
| Lilith conjunct North Node | Both partners recognize each other from a past life, intense, addictive quality. |
| Lilith conjunct South Node | Reveals a past life connection with Lilith themes. |
| Lilith conjunct Ceres | Devoted to each other, if the rest of the chart supports this. |
| Lilith conjunct Vesta | Taboo elements around the idea of mothering. |
People with Black Moon Lilith or asteroid Lilith square or conjunct their north node are learning to integrate their inner Lilith. Topics like rage, nonconformity, sexuality, and the primal, earthly part of the human animal are all important. And for people with the north node conjunct or square Lilith, that also means that we must make peace with being disliked by some.
People born with Lilith conjunct or square the north node must learn how to access their anger (which is sometimes quite a task in itself!), and then how to channel it in healthy ways. Anger can feel like a tsunami to Lilith in water signs, a tornado to Lilith in air signs, a forest fire to Lilith in fire signs, and an earthquake to Lilith in earth signs - a powerful but ugly force of nature; the dark side of mother nature spitting back in our faces.
Read also: Transformative Synastry
There is a line we all cross when the rage we feel boils over, and it’s when we cross that line that our natal Lilith comes out of her cage. With the north node square or conjunct Lilith, tracing that line becomes important. We have to first learn the curves of that line, and then familiarize ourselves with the visceral feeling of the right time to let it boil over and when we’d better not. Working with Lilith in this way conjures the essence of the Strength tarot card (Lamashtu was even depicted as part lion) - it’s not necessarily about ‘taming’ our inner lion, but trying to work with it.
For an in-depth explanation of the north and south nodes and the four basic steps to balancing them, check out this article titled The North Node and South Node in Astrology: The Secret Key to Life and/or book a Honeycomb reading with me.