The journey home, whether literal or metaphorical, is a powerful theme that resonates deeply within us. The song "I'll Find My Way Home" explores this theme on a spiritual level, taking us through a journey of exploration that begins in a spiritual wilderness and rises to a climax of certainty and strength.
Frank Sinatra - My Way (Live At Madison Square Garden, New York City / 1974 / 2019 Edit)
The song starts with Vangelis providing a sparse background, which gives a canvas for a simple but plaintive vocal by Anderson. There’s a sense of a voice in the wilderness about this but, although it’s quite stripped back here, the music retains a richness. It would have been easy to make this a desolate start.
The Lyrics: A Humble Beginning
The lyrics delve into themes of sin, loss, and the search for hope. The opening lines pose questions of where to begin and whether the speaker is lost in sin:
“You ask me where to begin/ Am I so lost in my sin?”
“You ask me where did I fall? / I’ll say I can’t tell you when.”
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Here there is acknowledgment of that fall. Christian orthodoxy tells us that man is born of original sin. Other faiths tell us that we are born pure and become corrupt. The song progresses in a similar slightly timid, worried fashion:
“But if my spirit is lost/ How will I find what is near?”
If I’m fallen what hope do I have of finding hope or salvation? This is a daunted man, but in the midst of this angst is a sure knowledge that there is a way through:
“Don’t question I’m not alone/ Somehow I’ll find my way home.”
There is hope and by resisting questioning, Anderson is stating his faith. The hope comes from afar - “My sun shall rise in the east/ So shall my heart be at peace.”
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Eastern Influences and Syncretism
It’s interesting to note that Anderson sings that “my sun shall rise in the east”. Is Anderson being deliberately obscure? He is said to be syncretic in belief. Syncretism blends different, even seemingly contradictory beliefs, together. It brings together disparate schools of thought. This open-minded cut-and-shunt belief system identifies common themes and therefore unity and creates an inclusive view of faith.
At this point we can interpret sun as the provider of light and life and therefore or we can hear it as “son”, in which case things go all New Testament. As we’ve already said, the hope is not western, it’s from the mystical east and not necessarily the more “traditional” Holy Land. However, from now on the signs appear more directly Christian, but not necessarily exclusively so.
The Journey to Redemption
As the song progresses, it moves towards themes of afterlife and spiritual release:
“And if you’re asking me when/ I’ll say it starts at the end.”
This is when, according to the Bible and other great teachings, one is released from the thrall of the earthly body and the spirit is released (“You know your will to be free”).
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“Your friend is close by your side/ And speaks in far ancient tongue”.
Whether this is Sanskrit or some other mother tongue, it’s an acknowledgment that we are part of a long line of humanity. As we in the west have evolved, have we moved increasingly away from our basic routes and closeness to God?
At this point the music swells - “All seasons begin with you” - is that you as in the protagonist? This makes sense. After all, the journey has to start from within. Alternatively, should this be You i.e. God?
Anderson acknowledges that each of us is small in the overall scheme of things, “One world we all come from/One world we melt into one”. Ashes to ashes indeed. Each man is temporary, but the spirit can live on. This is where the underlying optimism of the song is apparent.
Sharing the News
Anderson’s voice is loudest - a clear blast stating explicitly the nature of the home to which he aspires in this song. Like all great advocates he wants to share the News:
“Just hold my hand and we’re there/ Somehow we’re going somewhere”.
Join me he says.
“You ask me where to begin / Am I so lost in my sin.”
Sound familiar? This is point of emphasis and he hits this lyric with supreme gusto and conviction. It’s reinforced by a strident keyboard “dah dah”. This is a repeat of the opening words but this time sung with vigour and pride. The last time we heard these words they were sung with timidity.
By the time we have reached the denoument it is with a determined calm:
“But if my spirit is strong/ I know it can’t be long/ No questions I’m not alone/ Somehow I’ll find my way home” is sung more quietly but with authority.
The Power of the Spirituals
This is a song of hope with a sense of redemption. It’s reminiscent of a musical Waste Land, albeit far shorter, infinitely more approachable and less dense by a considerable margin. The rising strength of the Vangelis sonic landscape echoes Anderson’s increasing religious certainty. It’s this complementary combination which turns this into an uplifting and moving song.
Anderson means what he says - you can feel it in the vocal. His voice is almost unique in rock as an alto tenor - very sweet, clear and strong. And this matches the honest search for truth - it is an uncorrupt voice seeking home. When he sings the final repeats that “Somehow I’ll find my way home” he does so with strength and conviction.